Emotions and Emotional Intelligence


Everyone has heard of Emotional Intelligence at some point and most people have a vague idea what it is. Simply put, Emotional Intelligence (EI or also known as EQ) is the ability to use our emotions intelligently. Six Seconds, a leading organization with a mission to spread emotional intelligence in the world, defines EQ as the ability to “effectively blend thinking and feeling to make optimal decisions”. Does that sound like it might be useful in life? I bet it does. Furthermore, decades of research have also shown that people with higher EQ (Emotional Quotients or Emotional Intelligence) are better parents, better sales people, better doctors, better partners... 

The good news is that we all have a certain level of Emotional Intelligence. The better news is that we can all improve our level of Emotional Intelligence. Yes it is learnable and trainable.

Whilst attending the Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Certification Training I was reminded once again why we created Feeling Magnets and how important our mission, to help people learn about and understand emotions, really is. Let me explain…

Emotional Intelligence includes various different competencies (please excuse the jargon coming up), such as those mentioned by Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence - Why it can matter more than IQ: Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, Social Skills, Empathy and Motivation. Or those included in the Six Seconds model: Enhanced Emotional Literacy, Recognizing Patterns, Applying Consequential Thinking, Navigating Emotions, Engaging Intrinsic Motivation, Exercising Optimism, Increasing Empathy and Pursuing a Noble Goal. Regardless which model we look at, at the core lies the ability to identify and name emotions in ourselves and others. This means having a good emotional vocabulary and a keen awareness of feelings, as and when they arise.

What I also realized as I attended this course was that it was easy to learn the theory behind Emotional Intelligence and it was a whole other challenge to really put this theory into practice. What I mean by this is that we can all talk about how important it is to pay attention to our feelings and to really name them, but to really do this in our day to day lives and also when things get stressful, is a whole other thing.

The theory is nice but what we really want is to master this skill of emotional awareness in our lives so that we could actually reap the benefits of it. Frankly, if we just talk about the things we should do and we don't do them, we will not get the benefits. That is why we created Feeling Magnets. We need tools that can accompany us in our lives, to remind us to check in with our feelings, to give us a prompt when we are just starting out, because if we don’t have tools like this (and there are others out there, this is just the one that has worked best for us), it will just stay a lovely theory and concept... far away from our day to day realities.

So if you want to develop your emotional intelligence, starting to pay attention and naming your feelings in your day to day life is a sure way that you can do this. Just take a couple of minutes throughout the day and ask yourself: “How am I feeling right now?” Sounds simple enough. Try it, it's truly eye opening once you really do it.

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