THE KEY THING YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
When speaking to people about Feeling Magnets, the question often comes up around why we have emotions in the first place. Essentially, feelings are always there for a reason. They are always linked to something - either a situation, a thought we had or something we believe in. So feelings don’t come out of the blue (note: feelings are different to moods, which last longer). Each feeling is there to make us aware of something or to tell us something.
We like to think of feelings as well-intentioned friends who have something important to tell us. They come over to our house and they knock on the door. If we don’t answer the door, they keep knocking louder and louder. If we still don’t answer the door, they might call out our name and eventually break down the door. They do this because what they have to say is important and they care about us enough to do what it takes to get the message to us.
This is especially true for the messages that require us to time out, reconsider something in our lives or perhaps to change our strategy or direction. The uncomfortable feelings, also referred to as ‘negative’ feelings - such as sadness, anger, fear, shame and disgust - are uncomfortable for a reason: They need to catch our attention. If they were too pleasant, we wouldn’t pay attention to them at all.
To avoid strong ‘negative’ or uncomfortable feelings, the best thing we can do is pay attention to them and try to understand them as soon as they show up so that we can take them into account in how we act or what we do. Contrary to what we might believe, ignoring them will not make them go away. They will just keep knocking and break down the door if necessary, so it’s best not to let it go that far.
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