How to let fear help you make the most of the holidays

How to let fear help you make the most of the holidays - Feeling Magnets


The pre-holiday rush can be quite an overwhelming time for many of us. Finishing up projects at work, organising all the gifts for everyone and not to mention the planning and cooking if we are hosting dinners or parties. There is a lot going on so whether you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, frantic or even panicked, it makes total sense. Now, you might think this is crazy but what if we told you that these feelings are actually wanting to help you get through all that you need to do?


Fear’s Gift for Us During the Holidays

Take Fear for an example. Fear and it’s cousins (anxiety, stress, panic, etc.) can keep you awake at night with thoughts about how you are going to pay for all the gifts you want to buy for your loved ones. It can also have you frantically rushing around preparing the Christmas meal so that everything is perfect when everyone arrives.

Now consider this, Fear is trying to help you to prepare for a challenge at hand, to keep you out of danger and to help you do your best. To support you, Fear brings you Alertness (to think of everything and notice all the the details of everything happening around you) and Endurance (to keep going and get through your to-do's and get everything perfect).

The Fear that is keeping you up at night as you are worrying how you are going to buy all the gifts for everyone wants to protect you from getting into trouble. You are not physically in danger, nobody is attacking or robbing you, but there is a financial danger… the danger of getting into debt. In these situations Fear brings you Alertness and warns you that if you are not careful with your spending you might not be able to pay all your bills next month.

You can either ignore this warning (and it’s gift) and get yourself in all sorts of financial troubles. Or you can listen to it and use the gift of Alertness to explore options and find alternative solutions. Perhaps this year, you can decide to make your gifts yourself or you convince those you celebrate with that instead of physical gifts, everyone is going to do something nice for each other…

Now if your Fear is showing up when it comes to organising the big dinner for everyone, it’s there because it knows that the outcome of this dinner is important to you. It brings you Alertness and Endurance so that you can think about all the little details (who was allergic to what, how will everything be hot at the same time, who didn't get along with whom to seat everyone strategically, etc.) and so you can ensure that everything is prepared in advance.

The key here is that you need to put these gifts to use. You need to channel your emotions to get the most out of them.


How to Use the Gift in Fear

  1. Get clear on what exactly you are feeling. Take a few minutes and really ask yourself what exactly you are feeling. It’s hard to find the right words just from the top of your head, so it helps to have a list (here is the Feeling Magnets list of emotions for your reference) or if you have Feeling Magnets, use them.
  2. Recognise the gift in the emotions you are feeling. Once you know what you are feeling (and there are generally many feelings at once), consider what gift that emotion is bringing you. Here is a quick overview of some of the gifts in each emotion
  3. Decide how you can best use this gift. Knowing the feeling and the gift it is trying to bring you, helps you to be able to consciously choose how you want to channel each gift.

So for these holidays, our suggestion to you is to look at your feelings differently. Look at them as the bearers of gifts for you that have great intentions. Consider how you can best put them to use so that they help you instead of getting in your way. Give it a try and see for yourself what a difference it makes.

 Do you feel Fear about something else and don't know how this applies to you? Comment below.

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