Personal Goals: How Emotions Can Help Setting and Accomplishing Goals



As the new year begins, many people see this as a new beginning. Some make New Years resolutions and others don’t bother because they don’t stick to them anyway. I’ve found that one of the keys to resolutions that work (or achieving any goal for that matter) is to not only to focus on the external (what the world will see) like losing weight, getting a promotion, doing more sport or signing up to that course I have been talking about for ages. My resolutions have been far more successful when I dig a little deeper into what is behind that and ultimately focus on what I want to feel.

For instance, if we have the goal to lose weight, the truth is that it’s not just about the weight for weight’s sake. There is something behind this desire to lose weight. It might be the desire to be healthier, to be “more attractive”, to treat our bodies better. Behind each of these goals is also a feeling that we hope to have once we have achieved our goal. If the goal is to have a healthier body, we might hope to feel more energized, more carefree and more flexible. If it is about being “more attractive”, we might simply be wanting to feel more sensual, confident or accepted. Treating our bodies better can be about wanting to feel more respected (by ourselves to start with), more caring and free.

At the same time, once we figure out what feeling is behind our goal, we can also question ourselves to see what else we can do to feel that way. There are actually many things we can do to meet our needs or to feel a certain way. So if we want to feel confident, accepted and sensual, there might be more than one thing we can focus on to feel that way. Give it some thought.

Setting a Personal Goal that You Will Reach

If you have a resolution or goal that you really want to stick to, take a minute and think through (or better yet, write down) the answers to the following three questions:
  1. What do I want to achieve, change or start?
  2. Why do I want it? What is behind this desire? (Ask yourself this question multiple times until you don’t find anything further).
  3. What will I ultimately feel when I achieve this?

Did I Reach My Goal?

Once you have set a goal and you know how you want to feel as a result of it, it’s time to observe yourself and how you feel. Your feelings will be a sign for you. If you wanted to feel more sensual, confident or accepted, and you do, then you have been doing something right. If you aren’t, then it’s time to think of what else is needed to help you feel this way and what can you get there. In the end, what we really want with all of our goals, is to feel a certain way. Knowing how we want to feel can guide us to take the best possible actions to get us there.

I personally see every moment that we take to pause and reflect as an opportunity for a new beginning or fresh start. Perhaps that is just it, most of us don’t take time to pause and reflect throughout the year. Somehow, in our society, it has become a custom to do this at the beginning of the year so many of us will review and set new goals at least once a year. Keep in mind, you can do this any time, whether it’s weekly, once a month or once a quarter.

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1 Response

Tunji Babajide
Tunji Babajide

January 25, 2017

Awesome write up

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