Tuna Burger Discovery


"I don't cook. I don't like to cook nor I am good at it. Who am I kidding, I can't even get scrambled eggs right!

I am lucky that my partner loves to cook and he is really good at it. His steaks are to die for, seafood paella is simply amazing, not even mentioning the spinach and mango salad with almonds! Delicious! And as I like to eat good food, we are a pretty good fit in the cooking-eating department. :)

Last Sunday he had to work. Luckily I had the day off so I decided to go out of my comfort zone and show him that I care, by cooking us dinner: tuna burgers with basil, cardamon, mint and touch of lemon, with a healthy salad on the side. I found a recipe online and it came highly recommended from the users. So I decided to give it a go.

Generally I am more of a last minute person, my  motto "let's figure things out as we go along". But this time I prepared. I went to the shop on Saturday, bought fresh tuna, herbs and all of the other ingredients and a good bottle of red wine. On Sunday, I drove to a shop 3 miles away just to get fresh rolls for the burgers. Then I prepared the burgers. I chopped the fish and other ingredients finely, mixed them well and put the raw burgers in a fridge to marinate. I prepared the salad and read a book whilst waiting for my partner to come home from work.

He came back as promised, at 7 pm. So I started preparing the food. Frying the burgers, getting the rolls ready... I was feeling excited but a bit nervous. Not trusting my cooking skills I felt anxious about what would come out of this attempt. I took a sneak bite and the result exceeded my expectations. It was delicious! Proudly I dished out the menu and poured us some the wine. We sat down and the telephone rang... It was his father. They started talking. It was more his father talking and him just listening. Three minutes passed, five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes... At first I waited patiently but then I started sensing this uncomfortable feeling... my chest and shoulders tensed, the pressure was building up... When I felt an urge to yell, I left the table. I took my Feeling Magnets box and I started picking out my feelings.

Feeling MagnetsImpatient. Yeah, clearly, because I couldn't wait for him to try my culinary masterpiece! Capable and proud, as I achieved something I didn't think I was capable doing. Disappointed, jealous, insignificant... Why did he choose to talk on the phone for such a long time when the dinner that I worked so hard on was on the table? Frustrated, upset, annoyed... Why can't he just tell his dad he will call back? Then the big one came... ANGRY. Then everything made sense. I was angry at him because I needed him to appreciate my effort and admire the meal I made for us. I thought he was being unfair. When I realised this, the tension on my shoulders started to ease. I accepted my anger as it made sense to be angry. I took a few deep breaths and observed my anger until it slowly went away. As I was just about to close my Feeling Magnets box, I picked up another word. Caring. I remembered why I cooked this dinner in the first place. Because I cared for my boyfriend and I wanted to make something nice for him. 


As I went back to the table, he just finished talking on the phone. He apologised but he said that his dad's best friend has been really sick and he really needed someone to talk to. I was not angry anymore. I was compassionate and caring. We discussed his dad's problem briefly and then we started dinner in a positive mood. He loved the burgers and couldn't believe I made them myself! I felt happy, appreciated and loved.

Feeling Magnets - After the Tuna Burger DiscoveryThen I thought that if I didn't recognise my anger, if I didn't manage it properly, I could have exploded at my partner. He would have become defensive. We would have argued and then we would just eaten in silence, not being able to enjoy ourselves or the food. Fortunately this didn't happen. I recognised my anger appearing just in time, accepted and released it. So the evening finished with both of us feeling connected, happy, compassionate, relaxed, affectionate, blissful, loved and whole." 


Story sent to us from Anna P. from New York. Sign up for more stories of People with Emotions and tips and tools to manage your emotions here:

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